


That's All There Is To This Story

by speak_japanese_tome



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Depression, Drama, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, Japanese Culture, M/M, Manga & Anime, Music, Musicians, Pain, Panic Attacks, Pining, Slow Burn, Suicide, excited for haruki and aki to join soon too, following the anime mostly, long chapters eventually, lots of gay, mafuyu in pain, mostly cannon, ongoing, ue and mafuyu will be narratorish, with some liberties take by me to add drama and things we don't get to see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-19 15:17:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20659337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speak_japanese_tome/pseuds/speak_japanese_tome
Summary: Just when Mafuyu thinks that Yuki is all there is to his story, he sees the future in a black haired boy with a guitar. But it's not easy letting go of something you were never prepared for to end. Mafuyu struggles to find meaning in his future while getting close to a boy who's not ready to get close to him. But something happens when Mafuyu realizes that maybe, just maybe, he can be forgiven for all that he's done. The world slowly starts moving again, happiness, pain, hope, and all.Aka, a retelling of Given where we get more into the mind of Mafuyu and get a lot more hurt and comfort scenes between Ue and Mafuyu because that's all I really want from Given anyway. I don't really remember the entire plot and I don't feel like going back and checking, so some of the scenarios may be off, but it's more about the feelings anyway, am I right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 Ya'll. Just a taste of what's to come. I love seeing comments and wanting to know what you want more or less of. 
> 
> Hit me up on Tumblr @ speak_japanese_tome! 
> 
> Hope you all like getting into the sad mind of Mafuyu just as much as I do!

When Mafuyu saw him, it was like going back in time and being sucked into the future all at once. It was him, but it couldn’t be him. His eyes kept running up and down the boy’s body, honing in on his chest, his eyes, his hair. Flashes of yellow, then black, yellow, then black. He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes harshly, trying to bring him back to the present. And when he finally zoned in on the boy’s face, everything stopped. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t Yuki. It would never be Yuki. 

Mafuyu Sato would do anything to be forgiven, but he didn’t know if forgiveness was even possible in this world. People were together, and then they were torn apart. That’s all there is in the world. That’s all there is to any story. To his story. 

“This is my stairwell,” a voice said, breaking him out of the stupor he’d fallen into. “Go find somewhere else to waste your time during lunch.” 

The boy he’d mistaken for Yuki was sitting on top of the small set of stairs, looking down on him with annoyed eyes. The stairwell was empty, and everything was quiet, aside from the quiet muffle of people running through the school yard next to the building. Mafuyu thought that maybe he should feel bad for intruding on the guy, but he felt nothing. He wasn’t shocked by this guy’s words. They were just like everything else. Would be there one moment and gone the next. 

“Is there something wrong with your hearing?” The guy said, rising to his feet. He was tall and his arms were bigger than the average guy. He was toned and he looked over Mafuyu like a hot rising summer sun, ready to melt him into the spot he stood. It should have scared him, but it was like Mafuyu’s ability to detect danger was broken. Nothing could hurt him anymore. 

As the guy started walking down the stairs, Mafuyu noticed the guitar case that had been on the floor next to him. Just as the guy was about to reach him, Mafuyu went around him and walked up the stairs. The guy looked up at him like he was a sociopath, and maybe he was. 

“Is this your guitar?” Mafuyu asked. 

“Yeah, and what’s it to you?” the boy said gruffly. 

“Teach me to play,” he said, looking the boy dead in the eye. 

“No way,” the boy said, puffing his breath out and up, swishing his black bangs to the side. “You already have a guitar and you’re telling me you don’t know how to play? I don’t even know you!” 

Mafuyu sat down on the stairs where the boy had been sitting, gingerly taking off the guitar he had on his back and putting it between his legs. He opened up the case and ran his hand up and down the neck of the guitar, hands lightly touching the metal strings. His hands turned into Yuki’s hands, fingering different chords, strumming out different melodies, playing them just for Mafuyu. 

Mafuyu stirred from his reverie when he felt the boy’s presence next to him. 

“Those strings are broken,” he said, pointing to the fraying metal strands. “Why don’t you fix them?” 

“They can be fixed?!” Mafuyu said, his voice jumping out of his throat faster than he could think. 

“Um, yeah,” the boy said, putting his hand behind his neck and rubbing it bashfully. “You just need to get new strings. What are you? Some kind of dummy?” 

No, Mafuyu wasn’t a dummy. He was just trapped in a story where nothing began and nothing ended. Where everything revolved around something broken. Where nothing could ever be fixed because it never really ended. 

“Please help me replace the strings,” Mafuyu said, looking straight into the boy’s eyes again. 

“You didn’t even tell me your name,” the boy said, hesitance extremely clear on his face. 

“Sato. Mafuyu, Sato. So will you replace the strings… um. And your name?” 

“Uenoyama, Ritsuka.” 

“Please replace the strings,” Mafuyu said, bending deep at the waist. He wasn’t going to come up until Uenoyama agreed. Mafuyu was stubborn in a lot of ways, and this was no exception. He hated admitting it, but he needed Uenoyama. He needed someone to repair Yuki’s guitar. He needed to hear it play, hear it make a healthy noise just like it had when Yuki played it for him. 

“Okay okay, I’ll do it if you stop bowing! Jeez,” Uenoyama said, a blush creeping up his neck.  


“Really? You’ll do it? You’ll replace them?” 

“I already said yes. Stop talking, or else I really won’t do it.” 

Mafuyu shut his mouth and silence ensued for a few uncomfortable beats until Uenoyama groaned. 

“Do you take everything so literally?” Uenoyama asked, heading for the door back into the main hallway of the school. 

“I don’t think so,” Mafuyu said, following behind Uenoyama. 

“What is that even supposed to mean…” Uenoyama grumbled under his breath just as the bell rang. 

Mafuyu left school that day and felt something like anticipation set into his bones, like there was some kind of forward momentum building inside him. He hadn’t felt anything remotely like that in some time, and the feeling felt so wrong trying to find a home in him. Everything had changed inside of Mafuyu. There wasn’t a place for anything like happiness or kindness or… hope. He knew it and his body knew it, because as soon as he walked through the door to his home, nothingness came over him. Yuki grabbed him by the ankles and dragged him down into the abyss, not even giving him a chance to say goodbye.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ue fixes Mafuyu's guitar strings, but what does that realllly mean?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Ya'll - just wanted to give you a little preface about some of the things you will be seeing in my work! 
> 
> I studied Japanese literature and language in college, so I'll probably be utilizing a lot of the Japanese social norms throughout my writing. If I get something wrong, or if you feel like something isn't exactly right, please feel free to tell me. I think in an anime / manga like this, the way that social norms are displayed is incredibly important to the delivery and reveal of emotions throughout, so I'm trying to stay true to that, if that makes sense. 
> 
> Also, Ue is a little gay baby who is in love w/ Mafuyu from first sight, just saying.

Uenoyama didn’t know how he’d gotten into this mess. He tried to live his life straight and narrow, never deviating from his path to learn and play guitar. Music was everything to him and he’d never let anything get in his way. Until he met Mafuyu Sato. 

The kid was a space cadet to say the least. It was like the words Uenoyama was saying to him were going in one ear and out the other. Sato wasn’t a normal kind of guy. He wasn’t the type of person that could stay on the straight and narrow path that Uenoyama has embarked on. 

Not that Uenoyama was rigid… like his sister thought. He was just dedicated. To himself and his practice. Yeah, dedicated. That’s it. 

So when Sato approached him and asked him to teach him guitar, his first answer had been HELL no. He just didn’t have time to spare on someone else, especially someone as airheaded as Sato. But in the next few days, when Uenoyama returned to the stairwell, he kind of expected Sato to show up there and continue asking him to teach him. But he didn’t come. Not the first day, the second day, or the third. 

Uenoyama started looking for him during lunch. But it turns out that he just wasn’t in school completely. Maybe he’d gotten sick. He wouldn’t be surprised if someone like Sato would get sick easily. He seemed frail, like if he reached his hands out, they might disintegrate in the wind. 

And he did not worry about that at all. Not one bit. 

On the fourth day, Uenoyama went to the stairs during lunch again, and finally (finally?), Sato was there. Guitar in hand, Sato was again gently caressing the broken strings, eyes empty and far away. He didn’t even notice Uenoyama’s presence until he sat down next to him and lightly tapped his shoulder. Even then, Sato didn’t move. 

“Ah, Uenoyama-Kun,” he said, voice empty. 

“Are you feeling better? You’ve been absent for a few days,” Uenoyama said, heat rising to his cheeks as he realized he revealed that he’d noticed Sato had been gone. 

“Hm,” Sato said in response, indicating he was feeling better. Uenoyama couldn’t help but notice that whenever conversation concerned Sato and his person, he never really engaged. Uenoyama tucked that little observation away right then, but not because he was starting to care about the guy. Just because it was interesting, that’s all. “Can we replace the strings now?” Sato said, breaking Uenoyama out of his train of thought. 

“Oh, uh, yeah,” he said, reaching into his backpack and pulling out the new set of strings that he had bought for Sato’s guitar. 

Sato handed over the red guitar wordlessly, and did not take his eyes off of Uenoyama the entire time that he replaced the strings. He put on each one, not too loose, not too tight, and strummed each one gently to tune. When he finally tightened the last one, he strummed a few times over the middle of the strings, listening to them all blend together into one harmonious chord. He looked up to hand the guitar back to Sato, and was shocked by the look of pure adoration in his eyes. Sato looked from the guitar, to Uenoyama, to the guitar, and then back to Uenoyama. 

“See,” Uenoyama said, holding the guitar out for Sato to grab. “I told you it was an easy fix.”  
“Thank you, Uenoyama-Kun,” Sato said, ever so formally. 

“It was no problem, really,” Ue said, a now familiar blush rising to his cheeks. The heat that flushed through his body was slowly becoming a familiar part of his person when he was around Sato. He didn’t understand why, but he knew that whenever Sato looked at that guitar, he felt something start to coil in his belly, dark and desperate, like he wanted to take it out of Sato’s hands and put himself there. 

This couldn’t be… jealousy? Could it? Definitely not. 

“Please teach me how to play the guitar,” Sato said again, asking formally. 

“Just try and put your fingers here and strum with your other hand,” Uenoyama said, annoyance in his voice. 

“See you’re already trying to teach me, why don’t you teach me more?” Sato said, hitting the strings in an almost awful way. 

“I don’t know how to teach anyone,” Ue said. “Go try out the light music club, you’ll learn how to play there.” 

“But I want you to teach me,” Sato said again, looking at Ue with those dull eyes. How could someone sound so passionate, but look so… lost? 

“I already told you what you need to do,” Uenoyama said, getting up and heading out of the stairwell. “Give the music club a try.” 

He looked over his shoulder once, just once, to see Sato’s reaction. He thought to himself, if he shows even a little bit of fire in his eyes, maybe, just maybe I’ll stay. But Sato’s eyes were empty, his hands clutching the guitar so tightly that it looked like he was trying to strangle it, get it to bend to his will. As Uenoyama turned around to walk out the door, he saw Sato’s grip slacken and his shoulders slump. Uenoyama wouldn’t think about the fact that maybe Sato’s eyes and voice weren’t the gateways to his soul, but rather his body, his hands, the way he clutched the guitar, were the only things that could communicate his needs to the outside world. 

_I am not teaching him guitar, _Uenoyama thought to himself. But his body was telling something different. Something entirely different. __


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mafuyu goes to the studio and meets the guys! 
> 
> Also painful pining and observations by Uenoyama about Mafuyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, thanks for the comments and kudos so far. I appreciate the love! 
> 
> I'm currently in grad school, so I'll try and update as much as possible, but it might be a while between chapters. Sorry! Love me anyway! 
> 
> No TW's on this one. Just some sad interactions and pining feelings between Mafuyu and Ue. Love them to pieces those sad boys.

Somehow Uenoyama began teaching him guitar. Sato followed him around asking him day after day after day, asking Ue to teach him guitar in that ever so formal way. It eventually turned into Uenoyama going home and looking up “how to teach guitar” on google until he had enough resources to actually put it into practice. He also didn’t want to admit how much Sato’s bright, excited face when Ue finally agreed to teach him was stuck in his mind, playing over and over again each time he thought of Sato. This was getting Uenoyama excited about the guitar again. Not that he ever stopped really, but it was… nice to share his love of guitar with someone else. To help them see how great it was too. 

But Uenoyama couldn’t keep helping Sato out forever, could he? He had to admit that Sato was getting better, and obviously going home and practicing, because it was showing whenever they practiced together. He would get so wrapped up in his practice time with Sato, he almost forgot about his own rehearsals with his own band. 

He watched Sato play the final chord of the melody they were learning, and smiled. After a few times, Sato had already got it down pat, and Uenoyama couldn’t help being proud. But then he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket over and over again. When he looked at it, and the time, he cursed. 

“Shit, I have to go,” Uenoyama said, beginning to put his guitar away. 

“Where are you going?” Sato said, continuing to finger some random strings on the guitar, enticing Uenoyama to stay and listen to whatever melodies Sato was capable of creating. 

“I have to go to practice, with my own band,” he said, zipping up the case and standing. He looked down at Sato who was looking up at him curiously. Uenoyama couldn’t help but blush a little. 

“Can I come watch?” Sato said, beginning to put his own guitar away. 

“Um,” Uenoyama replied, unsure of what to say because even he wasn’t sure if he wanted to bring Sato into that part of his world. But it would be good for Sato, to see what a band looks like, he thought to himself. And a tiny part of him wanted Sato to see what he could really do too. Maybe it wasn’t a horrible idea… 

“Fine,” Uenoyama said. “But under one condition.” 

Sato tried to hold in his excitement at Uenoyama’s declaration, and Uenoyama thought that was just so damn cute. 

“You have to be quiet and watch diligently. Can you do that?” Ue asked Sato. He nodded eagerly, and off they went. Uenoyama had Aki and Haruki in the back of his mind, but somehow, he knew that they wouldn’t mind if he brought Sato along. Sato was kind of like a long lost puppy. He never really looked like he had a home, but everyone was drawn to him as if he were their home. 

“I brought a stray,” Uenoyama said as he entered the rehearsal space with Sato following close behind. 

“Oh! He’s so cute,” Haruki said, ogling at Sato’s hair and face. “But why did you bring him, Ue-Chin?” 

“He’s trying to learn guitar, so I brought him to watch, so he could see what a real band was like.” He pushed Sato up next to him, and gestured for him to say something. 

“My apologies for coming without asking. And thank you for letting me come to watch your rehearsal. I look forward to working with you all,” Sato said, in his ever so suave, but emotionless way. Even Haruki had a slight blush to his face as Sato bent at the waist.. 

“Okay, okay, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way,” Aki said, coming out from behind his drum set. “Can we get to work?” 

And to work they got. Uenoyama may not have acknowledged it, but he tried extra hard in front of Sato, and he played better than he had in a really, really long time. 

“What’s gotten into you, Uenoyama?” Aki said, wiping sweat off his forehead after a set. “You are shredding the guitar today, man.” 

Uenoyama felt a blush rise to his face. 

“I’m always like this,” he defended, not meeting Aki’s eyes. 

“He’s right, Ue-Chin,” Haruki added. “You sounded incredible just now. Even my heart was pounding a bit.” 

“Would you two stop it?” Ue said, keeping his eyes strategically on the wall.   
“Maybe because Mafuyu is here,” Haruki said, wiggling his eyebrows at Uenoyama. 

“Who are you to use his first name?” Uenoyama yelled at Haruki, a blush rising to his cheeks. 

“You don’t mind, do you, Mafuyu? I am your elder after all,” Haruki said, walking over and putting his hand on Mafuyu’s shoulder. 

“No, I don’t mind,” Mafuyu said, staring only at Uenoyama. And Uenoyama would have been embarrassed at Mafuyu’s stare and his words, but there was something about the haunted look in his eye that never seemed to fully go away that kept him from feeling bashful. It wasn’t that he felt so comfortable already that he wanted to let everyone use his first name. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about anyone using his first name. It was that Mafuyu didn’t care about anything about himself at all. And even though he hadn’t said it, Uenoyama knew, somewhere deep in his soul, that Mafuyu thought he had no self worth. To the point where even protecting his name, and preserving intimacy, was beyond him. 

“Well then, Mafuyu,” Haruki started, “What do you think about the band? Have you gained some inspiration from watching us rehearse?” 

“Hm,” Maufyu said, his voice quiet, but a small smile on his face. “It’s amazing to see how music can bring people together.” 

Uenoyama watched Mafuyu look at him, and then he watched the smile fall from Mafuyu’s face. He knew something wasn’t right. He felt the distance between them. Everytime Mafuyu looked him at him, there was something that wasn’t connecting all the way. Like Mafuyu was looking through him, towards something far away, something that might not even be there. 

Ue walked over to Mafuyu, and he didn’t even notice Uenoyama’s presence, eyes still stuck on the spot he was standing before. So, he bent down in front of Mafuyu. Only when Uenoyama put his hand on his shoulder did Mafuyu’s eyes adjust to his face, registering that he was there, in front of him, breathing. 

“Let’s go home, Mafuyu,” Uenoyama said. An inevitable heat rose to his face, saying Mafuyu’s name like that, and that heat rose even higher, when Mafuyu’s eyes, maybe for the first time opened a little wider than normal at the mention of his first name on Uenoyama’s tongue. 

“Okay, Uenoyama-kun,” he said, quietly. 

Uenoyama walked Mafuyu home, and they spoke of irrelevant things that didn’t matter, like school and homework, but the undercurrent of their conversation spoke of darkness and strife that wanted to break free in the night air; that wanted a place to find comfort, acceptance, and peace. But Uenoyama couldn’t bring himself to ask Mafuyu about the past. Mafuyu’s walls were high, and it looked higher than Uenoyama could jump. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t stop trying, but it was intimidating. So intimidating that he went home each night, trying to think of ways to jump, climb, and run over it. Anything to get to Mafuyu.


End file.
